INDIRECT MESSAGE (Bad-News Announcement)
You own a small new- and used-book store and cafe with free wireless Internet access. You enjoy the calm, quiet atmosphere of your store and like that your customers choose your store to conduct business, socialize with friends, or just enjoy a good book and a cup of coffee. Increasingly, many customers are talking on their cell phones–very loudly and in places where they shouldn’t be. They hold up the order line by talking on the phone when they should be talking to the cashier. They disrupt others who are enjoying the quiet atmosphere to work or read. Sure, customers who are working on the computer may need to talk on the phone, but must these customers be so loud and disruptive that those across the room who are trying to read can hear their conversations? Many customers have actually complained. You want to make these customers happy but not at the expense of making your cell phone users unhappy. Write a cell phone policy to post in your store.
Review pages 280-285 in your Textbook covering Negative Announcements. Type your Announcement in the form of a Memorandum using MICROSOFT WORD–use all proper memo headings and spacing in your message (Review Chapter 4 for proper formatting and placement of headings).
DIRECT REQUEST MESSAGE–Contacting a Social Media Expert
You’d like to learn more about the hiring process for a social media expert and the kinds of benefits that individual could bring to your organization (HomeCenter). You wonder where that individual might fit into the corporate structure—would the position operate out of corporate communications, marketing, customer service, or elsewhere? You also are unclear about qualifications for candidates, salary, and how a social media expert’s success would be evaluated.
Compose an e-mail inquiry to
Type your professional email message using MICROSOFT WORD and use the correct format (all headings and corresponding text/email addresses included and all proper spacing/margins); refer to CHAPTER 4 for examples of proper formatting. Do not forget to include your EMAIL SIGNATURE BLOCK at the end!
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INDIRECT MESSAGE – (EXL) Business Communication – BCED-3510-D01 – Middle Tennessee State University
DIRECT AND INDIRECT MESSAGE RUBRIC
Course: (EXL) Business Communication – BCED-3510-D01
Criteria
PROFICIENT
5 points
ACCEPTABLE
3 points
UNACCEPTABLE
1 point
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Criterion Score
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Criteria
RESPONSE
INDIRECT MESSAGE – (EXL) Business Communication – BCED-3510-D01 – Middle Tennessee State University
PROFICIENT
5 points
ACCEPTABLE
3 points
UNACCEPTABLE
1 point
Criterion Score
Type of response
Type of response
No attempt made
/5
has been
determined and
has been
determined but
to follow
requirements for
appropriate plan
appropriate
assignment
has been followed
approach (direct
(direct message
or indirect) was
not followed
did not follow
direct approach to
throughout
assignment
writing; indirect
message did not
direct
message=beginni
ng with purpose
of message in
first sentence and
ending with action
direct
message=began
closing [including
date by when
with purpose of
message but
information or
response is
failed to conclude
with action
needed]
paragraph (no
indirect
message=beginni
ng with buffer
paragraph (no
mention of bad
news) followed by
explanations with
bad news
embedded inside
the second
paragraph and
closing with “offthe-topic of bad
news” forwardlooking
information
date by which
response
information is
required or
have buffer
paragraph,
sufficient
explanations with
bad news
embedded
therein, or off-thesubject-of-thebad-news closing
paragraph)
needed) OR did
not begin
assignment
properly (student
introduce
herself/himself
and explained
position in
company) but
ended
assignment with
appropriate action
closing (gave the
date by which
response or
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Criteria
INDIRECT MESSAGE – (EXL) Business Communication – BCED-3510-D01 – Middle Tennessee State University
PROFICIENT
5 points
ACCEPTABLE
3 points
UNACCEPTABLE
1 point
Criterion Score
information is
needed
indirect
message=began
with buffer
paragraph (no
mention of bad
news) and
connected with
reader but failed
to provide
sufficient
explanations OR
stated bad news
at beginning of
the second
paragraph rather
than building
understanding
through
explanations first;
OR apologized in
the closing
paragraph for the
bad news; OR did
not open the
message with a
buffer paragraph
(gave bad news in
first couple of
sentences) but
ended the
message with a
forward-looking,
no-mention-ofthe-bad-news
closing
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Criteria
TONE
INDIRECT MESSAGE – (EXL) Business Communication – BCED-3510-D01 – Middle Tennessee State University
PROFICIENT
5 points
ACCEPTABLE
3 points
UNACCEPTABLE
1 point
Criterion Score
Tone is
Tone is mostly
Tone is mostly
/5
appropriate for
positive but
negative because
assignment (used
includes negative
of excessive use
positive words
words that should
of negative words
and avoided use
of negatives or
be avoided (e.g.,
unfortunately,
throughout
assignment
words that elicit
hope); use of
negative
“not,” “cannot,” or
response)
other similar
words should
always be
avoided in bad
news messages
“YOU” VIEW
Entire assignment
Most of the
More than 4
is written
assignment is
from “reader”
written from the
perspective (use
“reader”
of “you” and
perspective but
sentences in the
assignment begin
with “I” (more
writer-centered
“your” rather than
“I,” “me,” and
has 3 to 4
sentences
than reader or
“you” centered)
“my”)
beginning with “I”
/5
(writer
perspective)
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Criteria
CLARITY
INDIRECT MESSAGE – (EXL) Business Communication – BCED-3510-D01 – Middle Tennessee State University
PROFICIENT
5 points
ACCEPTABLE
3 points
UNACCEPTABLE
1 point
Criterion Score
Assignment is
Information in the
/5
complete,
Information in the
assignment was
incomplete (writer
concise, and
correct style (only
did not consider
all possible
purpose of the
message (e.g.,
relevant
questions or
objections from
reader); use of too
many indefinite
addressed the
written in a clear,
information is
included)
expressions (i.e.,
there is, there are,
it is, this is)
cluttered writing
assignment
missed the entire
wrong audience),
was too wordy, or
unclear because
of abuse of
indefinite
expressions and
incorrect grammar
and punctuation
(e.g., run-on
sentences,
sentence
fragments, etc.)
GRAMMAR,
PUNCTUATION
, AND
SPELLING
Assignment has a
Assignment has a
Assignment has
total of 3 or fewer
total of 4 to 6
more than 6
errors (grammar,
errors
spelling,
(grammatical,
errors (grammar,
punctuation, and
spelling,
word choice)
punctuation, and
word choice)
/5
spelling,
punctuation, and
word choice)
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Criteria
FORMAT
INDIRECT MESSAGE – (EXL) Business Communication – BCED-3510-D01 – Middle Tennessee State University
PROFICIENT
5 points
ACCEPTABLE
3 points
UNACCEPTABLE
1 point
Criterion Score
Assignment is
Assignment was
Assignment was
/5
prepared in
prepared
not prepared
proper format
according to
according to
(block style letter,
memorandum, or
instructions;
however, spacing,
instructions (e.g.,
no formatting or
email) and has all
required
margins, or
headings are
headings for letter
or memo)
headings,
incorrect (e.g.,
spacing, and
double-spaced
margins
inside address,
did not align
headings in the
memorandum)
Total
/ 30
Overall Score
PROFICIENT
ACCEPTABLE
UNACCEPTABLE
FEEDBACK
24 points minimum
18 points minimum
6 points minimum
0 points minimum
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Negative Announcements
Negative Announcements
Page 280
LO8-6 Write negative announcements that maintain goodwill.
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Problem-Solving Challenge
Announcing an Increase in Health Insurance Costs
As the assistant to the human resources director at White Label
Industries (WLI), you have been given the difficult assignment of
writing a bad-news message for your boss. She has just returned
from a meeting of the company’s top executives in which the decision
was made to deduct 25% of the employees’ medical insurance
premiums from their paychecks.
Until now, WLI has paid for all medical insurance. But declining profits
are forcing the company to ask employees to contribute more.
Something has to give if WLI is to remain competitive while also
avoiding layoffs.
The administrators decided on a number of cost-cutting measures
including this reduction in the company’s payment for medical
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insurance. The message you will write to WLI employees is a
negative announcement.
Occasionally, businesses must announce bad news to their customers or employees.
For example, a company might need to announce that prices are going up, that a
service or product line is being discontinued, or that a branch of the business is
closing. Or a company might need to tell its employees that the company is in some
kind of trouble, that people will need to be laid off, or, as in the
Problem-Solving Challenge above, that employees will contribute more to the
cost of their health insurance. These negative announcements usually follow the
general indirect plan discussed in this chapter.
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Determining the Strategy
When faced with the problem of making a negative announcement, your first step
should be to determine your overall strategy. Will you use direct or indirect
organization?
You Make the Call
In what situations would you make sure to deliver a negative
announcement in person?
In most cases the indirect arrangement will be better. This route is especially
recommended when it is reasonable to expect that the readers would be surprised,
disappointed, or even angered by a direct presentation. When planning an indirect
announcement, you need to think about what kind of buffer opening to use, what
kind of explanation to give, how to word the news itself, and how to leave your
readers feeling that you have considered their interests and made a good decision.
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Negative Announcements
Setting Up the Buffer
As with the preceding negative message types, you should plan your indirect
beginning (buffer) carefully. You should think through the situation and select a
buffer that will set up or begin the explanation that justifies the announcement.
Perhaps you will begin by presenting justifying information. Or maybe you will start
with complimentary or cordial talk focusing on the good relationship that you and
your readers have developed. Choose the option that will most likely prepare your
reader to accept the coming bad news.
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Negative Announcements
Presenting the Justification and Bad News
In most cases, the opening paragraph will enable you to continue with background
reasons or explanations in the next paragraph, before you present the bad news.
Doing so will help you de-emphasize the bad news by locating it in the middle of
the paragraph rather than at the beginning.
As in other negative situations, you should use positive words and an objective tone
and avoid unnecessary negative comments when presenting the news itself. Since
this is an announcement, however, you must make certain that you cover all the
facts. People may not be expecting this news. They will want to know the reasons
for the situation. They also want to know that you have done all you can to ease the
effects of the bad news, so you will need to provide evidence that this is true. If the
readers must do something, the steps must be clearly covered as well. All questions
that may come to the readers’ minds should be anticipated and covered, to.
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Negative Announcements
Focusing on Next Steps or Remaining
Benefits
In many cases negative news will mean that things have changed. Customers may
no longer be able to get a product that they have relied upon, or employees may
have to find a way to pay for something that they have been getting for free. For this
reason, a negative announcement will often need to help people solve the problem
that your news just created for them. In situations where you have no further help
to offer—for example, when announcing certain price increases—you can still help
people feel better about your news by calling attention to the benefits that they will
continue to enjoy. You can focus on the good things that have not changed and
perhaps even look ahead to something positive or exciting on the horizon.
When making a negative announcement, remember that an indirect,
tactful approach is usually better than a blunt or aggressive approach.
JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Getty Images
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Negative Announcements
Closing on a Positive or Encouraging Note
The ending should cement your effort to cover the matter positively. The ending
should not include an apology or continued discussion of the bad news. Instead,
you can use a positive look forward, a sincere expression of gratitude, or an
affirmation of your positive relationship with your readers.
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Reviewing the Pattern for Negative
Announcements
To write a negative-news announcement, you will do the following:
Start with a buffer that sets up justification for the bad news.
Present the justification for the bad news.
Give the bad news objectively, positively, and clearly.
Help solve the problem that the news may have created for the reader.
End with appropriate goodwill.
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Communication Matters
Using Social Media for Crisis Communication
Sometimes businesspeople will find themselves having to manage a
crisis. In crisis situations, the abundance of online channels
businesses use to communicate internally and externally presents
special considerations for delivering the negative news about the
crisis.
Content marketer Patrick Whatman says that when it comes to crisis
communication in business, it’s not “if” but “when.” Preparing for a
crisis before it happens will save you a lot of work during and after.
Many customers will take to social media to express displeasure with
a company or product, and how that company responds should be
discussed before the issue even arises. Preparing a crisis
communication plan for dissemination on social media isn’t just smart,
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Negative Announcements
it’s necessary in this digital age. Whatman provides the following
advice for managing a crisis in various stages.
Before the Crisis
Define “crisis.” It’s smart to come up with several scenarios.
Organize a crisis management team of trusted individuals with
clear responsibilities in the crisis.
Establish your message. “You can’t plan your specific response yet
since you don’t know what the crisis is. Instead, establish your
core values as a company, and your main value proposition to
customers.”
Create communication guidelines. Craft basic templates for each
of your social media platforms and don’t forget how you’ll
communicate the crisis via your website.
Use a tool (like Monitor or Hootsuite) to monitor what people are
saying about you so you can potentially stop a crisis before it
starts.
During the Crisis
Stop all scheduled posts.
Inform your crisis management team.
Publicly acknowledge the crisis. Update customers as frequently
as possible. Be as transparent as possible/necessary.
Stay calm and try not to deviate from your plan. Post, as closely as
you prepared for, on your website and social media platforms.
After the Crisis
Assess damage to your brand. Compare data from before the
crisis.
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Negative Announcements
Analyze your response and update your crisis management plan
to reflect what you learned.
Communicating in a crisis situation presents special considerations,
but in many ways, it requires many of the skills we have already
discussed: the ability to analyze communication goals and business
goals; the ability to analyze and respond to the audience, context,
and purpose; and the ability to build or rebuild relationships.
Source: Patrick Whatman, “Build Your Social Media Crisis Management Plan in 10 Steps,” Mention blog,
n.d., accessed October 3, 2019,
https://mention.com/blog/social-media-crisis-management-plan/.
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Negative Announcements
Comparing Examples of a Negative
Announcement
Effective and ineffective techniques in negative announcements are illustrated in
the following messages that announce WLI’s plan to have employees contribute
more to the cost of their health insurance (see the
Problem-Solving Challenge at
the beginning of this section). The ineffective example is written in a direct pattern,
which in some circumstances may be acceptable but clearly is not in this case. The
effective example follows the indirect pattern.
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Negative Announcements
A Direct Message That Causes Panic
The following example will clearly alarm readers with its abrupt announcement at
the beginning. The readers aren’t prepared to receive the negative message. They
probably don’t understand the reasons behind the negative news. The explanation
comes later, but the readers are not likely to be in a receptive mood when they see
it. The message ends with a repetition of the bad news.
To Our Employees:
WLI management sincerely regrets that effective February 1 you must
begin contributing 25% of the cost of your medical insurance. As you
know, in the past the company has paid the full amount.
This decision is primarily the result of the continued high cost of medical
insurance and declining profits over the last several quarters. Given our
tight financial picture in general, we needed to find ways to reduce
expenses.
We trust that you will understand why we must ask for your help with
cutting costs to the company and thank you for helping us save money.
Sincerely,
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Negative Announcements
A Courteous and Logical Indirect Message
The better example follows the recommended indirect pattern. Its opening words
begin the task of convincing the readers of the appropriateness of the action to be
taken. After more convincing explanation, the announcement flows logically.
Perhaps it will not be received positively by all recipients, but it represents a
reasonable position given the facts presented. After the announcement comes an
offer of assistance to help readers deal with their new situation. The last paragraph
reminds readers of remaining benefits and reassures them that management
understands their interests. It ends on an appreciative, goodwill note.
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To All Employees:
For many companies, the cost providing medical coverage for
employees has increased substantially in recent years.
Such is the case at our company. The premiums that we pay to cover
our health benefits have increased by 34% over the last two years, and
they now represent nearly a third of our expenditures. Meanwhile, as
you know, our sales have been lower than usual for the past several
quarters.
For the short term, we must find a way to cut overall costs. Your
management has considered many options and rejected such measures
as cutting salaries and reducing personnel. Of the solutions that will be
implemented, the only change that affects you directly concerns your
medical insurance. On March 1 we will begin deducting 25% of the cost
of the premium from your paycheck.
Jim Taylor in the Personnel Office will soon be announcing an
informational meeting about your insurance options. Switching
coverage, choosing a less expensive plan with higher deductibles, or
setting up a flexible spending account may be right for you. You can also
see Jim after the meeting to arrange a personal consultation. He is well
versed in the many solutions available and can give you expert advice
for your situation.
Our health care benefits are some of the best in our city and in our
industry, and those who continue with the current plan will not see any
change in their medical coverage or their copays. Your management
regards a strong benefits program as critical to the company’s success,
and we will do all we can to maintain these benefits while keeping your
company financially viable.
Sincerely,
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Annotated Example
Indirect Negative Announcement (Decreasing Work Hours)
Shop employees are told of the effects a slow economy will have on
their work hours. The message is friendly and empathetic but clearly
conveys the negative news. The goodwill close looks forward to
better economic times.
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Using Directness in Some Cases
As we mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, in some cases it is likely that the
reader will not have a strong negative reaction to the bad news. If, for example, the
negative news is expected, its impact may be viewed as negligible. There is also a
good case for directness when the company’s announcement will contain a remedy
or announce new benefits that are designed to offset the effects of the bad news. As
in all announcements with some negative element, this part must be worded as
positively as possible. Also, the message should end on a goodwill note. The
following sample message, announcing the end of a store’s customer reward
program, illustrates this situation.
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Dear Ms. Cato:
Effective January 1 Frontier Designs is discontinuing its Preferred
Customer program to offer several new promotions.
Your accumulated points will be converted to a savings coupon worth as
much as or more than your points total. Your new points total is on the
coupon enclosed with this letter. You may apply this coupon in these
ways:
When shopping in our stores, present your coupon at the register.
When shopping from our catalogs, give the coupon number to the
telephone service agent, enclose your coupon with your mail order,
or enter it with your online order at www.frontierdesigns.com/catalog.
In all these cases we will deduct your coupon value from your purchase
total. If you have any questions, please call us at 1-800-343-4111.
We thank you very much for your loyalty. You’ll soon hear about exciting
new opportunities to shop and save with us.
Sincerely,
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Annotated Example
Direct Negative Announcement (Changing the Terms of a
Customer’s Account)
In this example, a bank is announcing a change in its policy regarding
checking accounts. The information is not good news in the sense
that the customer has no choice in the change, and the name is
changing from “platinum” to “gold,” which implies less value.
However, because the message contains time-sensitive information
and because the writer does not want the reader to mistake the
message for marketing or promotional material, the writer uses a
direct approach.
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Power Charge Your Professionalism: Use Colons and
Semicolons
Insert colons, semicolons, and commas as needed in the following
sentences. Indicate which punctuation guide you used from
Reference Chapter A to determine the punctuation for each
sentence. If the sentence is correct, leave it as is.
1. Many companies allow employees to work from home however
other companies question whether these employees can be
productive if they are not working from the office.
2. As we moved through the review process we never lost sight of
our goal We needed to identify our best employees and gain their
support for culture change across our organization.
3. Our customers tell us their favorite features of our Internet service
are its speed reliability and cost.
4. We have hired four new staff members Brenda Stevens a human
resources generalist Joe Kingsley an IT specialist Thomas Dorsett
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an accountant and Zoe Hinz a purchasing agent.
5. Over 300 patients visited our office last week this week however
only 225 patients scheduled appointments.
6. Rick Allie Yu and Lou are scheduled to lead four of the training
sessions on Tuesday and Robert Julie Evelyn and Leslie are
scheduled to lead the sessions on Wednesday.
7. Dale Carnegie is known for this quote “Success is getting what
you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.”
8. Over a million copies of our fitness app have been downloaded
making it the most popular app among our customers ages 20–
40.
Using colons and semicolons correctly is important
because . . .
Semicolons and colons help show relationships between and
among ideas. You can use the semicolon and colon, along with
commas, to show coordination, subordination, and emphasis.
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Good use of punctuation helps your reader follow the logic of your
thoughts and ensures your messages are clear.
For further instruction, see “Colons” and “Semicolons” in Adaptive
Learning Assignment under McGraw Hill Adaptive Reading, Grammar,
and Research Assignment in the Module “Punctuation and
Mechanics.”
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