professor comments: This had some good ideas but for Temple to start paying you need to clarify if Temple could still be part of the NCAA?I suggest you revise with the idea that Temple propose the NCAA permits all universities to pay the athletes. If Temple petitions the other Universities ( ask them to sign a letter of support) after reading the business plan for payment you wrote here) then the next step – if all the colleges agree- would be for the NCAA to change some rules.

please mark red word type–your fix part
please take look about the written proposal example-c then help me to fix it